I must be too annoying 4 u.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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