who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
