is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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