He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize