nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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