You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Your shirt... Was in my pants
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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