Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Randomize