In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
are you so shy because you have an std?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
