i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
