I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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