Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
