I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
