That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I need moral support for this bender
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize