if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
