who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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