Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
