what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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