Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
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