to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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