I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
