I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize