ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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