All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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