I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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