They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
