So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize