i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
