He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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