i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
only you would photoshop your dick
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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