I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
