the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
