Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
