Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize