NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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