hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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