okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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