had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
