dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
