You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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