And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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