Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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