My brain says no but my pants say off.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
