Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
