Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Did I show you my penis last night?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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