if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Randomize
