yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
