no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize