Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
