that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I would fuck him just for his dog
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