Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
