Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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