It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Terrible idea I love it
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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