A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
how does that bad decision feel?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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