shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize