I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
