roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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