Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
