just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
