Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
