office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i think i have herpe
just one?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
