Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
