My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Randomize
