i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
