i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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