Where did you get a picture of my penis
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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