she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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